Pee in Peece

The universal exit fluid is one of the many common threads across mankind and the rest of the animal kingdom. The ages of civilization and years of evolution( or otherwise), however has rendered us incompetent when it comes to release with ease.

The constant weathering over years has ensured that the human race pees only in holes, in a certain direction and with a certain degree of precision.Community peeing, another disturbing phenomenon, has been increasing exponentially and can be observed at all major airports, railway stations and other public places.

I am a victim of Community peeing too and it is with great distress that I narrate to you this incident, embarrassing as it might be.

After arrival at the Mumbai airport from Delhi on a wet and cold morning, the desire to release so overcame me that I was led to a Community peeing destination, also known as a toilet.

Apprehensive  but desperate, i made my way through the confused maze only to observe that all the silos( couldnt think of a better name) were occupied and a line already formed behind the releasing individuals.

Finding a position vacant in the waiting line,I made a mad dash for the same. The individual in front of me was a bespectabled tall, old gentleman and seemed to be from the army.

Now the moments leading to the final release can be very stressful and it is always advised to wander your mind to thoughts far from fluids. I did exactly that but while observing the gentleman in front, the only thought that kept reccurring was that pee can make the toughest General bow his head.

1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes snap…The faces around me had changed.The only things constant were the 2 of us- me still waiting for the gentleman to move away and the gentleman still basking in the relief of his release.

Just as I was thinking to move to another “strategic position” the gentleman cleared the way . Flooded with relief, I made my way to the hole. After the necessary formalities, I was in position for the final release but…

Community peeing involves people all around you and me, being the introvert Iam did not realize that this chaos was going to adversely effect my release.

The muscles expanded and contracted, I huffed and puffed…no luck. Some more huffing and puffing, a nervous glance to my right and then to my left…no luck. A brow of sweat appears on my forehead.

I suddenly got conscious of people all around me.I usually pride myself in not being claustrophobic but this was bad. At a meagre 5 feet 6 inches, the entire world looked taller. The automatic flush flushed 3 times while I waited and waited.

With one final effort coupled with prayers to the Almighty ” Lord why me and why now?”, I heaved. That did it.The first few drops of sour relief made their way to the hole and soon the spring was in full flow.

After zipping myself up, I took a brave look at the individual behind me. Agitated but relieved, he took a big stride and got himself in position.

I slowly slinked out of the toilet, defeated yet again by chaos but having taken a firm resolve to pen the cause of allowing mankind to pee in peece.

“peeing in peace is my birthright and I shall have it”- Robin Jacob Abraham

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5 thoughts on “Pee in Peece

  1. smita says:

    dude..well this was little embrassing to read and i am sure embrassing for you to pen it down..but I just love the way you write it..all your blogs are so intresting to read, that the reader (I am sure everyone will agree) wants to read it till the end in a one go..

  2. Saurabh Jain says:

    Bhai, its amazingly well written. You have captured the gory details of peeing (again just like ypu i could not think of a better word) very accurately and especially the emotions/convulsions that a man goes through during this task have been brought out very well. Well..my man, I am sure this could not have been written so well had you not done it regularly….
    Hail the Master of Community Peeing… 🙂

  3. kaps says:

    brother, it’s amazing to see that how proper use of vocabulary can make an embarassing moment an enjoyable one (which i’m sure you had a moment like that when you finished the article “in real time”)
    and don’t worry bro, if you need some one beside to protect you from generals or some one else, just give me a call n i’ll be there with saurabh 😉 kyon saurabh taiyaar rahega na 🙂 n hats off to you for writing such great articles… tc.

  4. Humbled Pie says:

    Well put. I am finding that my increasing age is strongly correlated to the amount of time I spend standing in front of the urinal. Thanks for the laugh!

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